I far under rated Bomb the Music Industry!

I swear, ill be your compass.
Just as soon as i find the way.

We were covered in sweat, it smelled like a bathroom but everybody had the biggest fucking grins on their faces.
My toe is bleeding and my shoes are pretty much destroyed.
I apparently didnt learn my lesson from Rise Against not to wear those shoes to a concert and it was even rougher here skankin the entire time but it dosen't matter.
Tomas Kalnoky is a god among men.
Its no wonder its a sold out packed house every time they come to town.
Thank you, Streetlight Manifesto for being amazing as usual. Its a hard track record to keep.

On a side note, where are all the chicks i see at streetlight shows and why have i never met them?
"Whats ska?" gets old after awhile.

American Gods is finished, so is watching all 4 seasons of bsg.
Now what is there to do with all this time?
More importantly, why does it seem that these waking hours are never enough?

This was our decision we had it coming all along.
Did we not?
I regress, i cant make leaps of faith and lump you into this destiny.
Just making it plural makes me feel a little bit better about how this is all turning out.

A Delorean that could hit 88 is a beautiful thing to imagine though.
I still think that's all i would do.

Its choking, suffocating, fighting for air
take one last gasping breath.
Its the search to find a reason to raise this collapsed chest.
Searching for something to believe
I should'nt have to fight to breath.
I should'nt have to fight to breath.

(Wandering aimlessly)

My computer has something against this website, it wont let me log on.
Its kinda unfortunate.

This year ill try not to think too much.
This is my year for sure.

The sky only burns this bright at night.
Its in no way welcoming, dosent give off the slightest bit of warmth.
Do you remember what its like to be warm?
I can almost remember but theres no reignition.
You know where to look, i can tell, i could tell.
Why dont you show me?
Its been eluding me for so long.
The sky used to burn this bright every night.
I knew a place the flames came so close we could almost reach out and touch.
Though even if we did touch,
we could never get burned.

If there were accolades for procrastination i would probably win them all, disappointly they come with all the stress you would of missed out on for getting stuff done on time.
I dont know what i was thinking.
Lets pretend it never happened.

Straight edge never taught me much.
Its just something Ive learned to keep cool
and when theres nothing but cold comfort,
and i cant remember her name.
At least i was always a chivalrous fool.

I swear...
I swear......
We've lost it.

Its too late.
Always has been.
Always will be.
Too late.

my eyes are burning.
i knew it would be rough. Did you like it as much as i did?
The first ones definatly a winner. i guess theres only one person i could really believe
and i havent heard a word from there. Maybe i should share it some more, but then again...
my eyes are still burning
First impressions cant be undone.Its best i wait.

Buses tend to be unreliable. I accepted this and still left at my regular time. In Vienna i just randomly parked my car in what could of been a space to a casual observer, apprently the officer who ticketed me knew the difference. By the time i got off the metro in Dupont Circle i was twenty minutes late, by the time i finally got a bus to the cathedral the class was over;in fact they were leaving as i was walking in. I refused to have made the trip in vain so i still walked around and looked at everything. Met the professor outside the crypts where we discussed the finer points of romanesque and gothic architecture and took some pictures. After venturing forth to locate the return bus the rest of the day went as usual.
Hours later i got to finally sing the song i wrote two days ago aloud in my full singing voice, i actually like it. I wish it wasnt based off someones short story and was truly my own writing but im too much of a perfectionist to ever finish my own work.
At some point do you give up or give in?
Some times i get the feeling theres too much finality to this.

Its done, put a bullet in her.

You know its actually better in the dark. Theres nothing to see. Just the sound of recirculated air and the touch of processed linen sheets. Theres nothing out there that wasnt there when this light was on, so where did this feeling of dread come from. This forboding could be the reason for always waking in a cold sweat.There hasnt been a dream in months that could be remembered in mornings light, then again neither is this feeling. It only comes now, when its despised the most.

Your being irrational, we need to abandon ship.

...but then again, we always were the true believers.

Theres something about the idea of living in a city that appeals to me. Crowded streets and mass transit? I doubt its that, in fact i could probably name it but then i wouldnt want to believe myself. I plan on moving into dc this summer, of course i planned on moving anywhere last fall and as most of my brilliant plans do it failed miserably. I can lead us into battle but i cant fight the war, im gonna have to find some soldiers.
Among other things on my to do list for this summer.
-See Rancid and Rise Against in Baltimore
-Backpack across europe
-find a thousand dollars to buy a plane ticket to europe

Those may not be in order of importance

The anonymity of the internet is an amazing thing.
At 2'o clock in the morning it can be a bit depressing though.

It irks me at times when i see or hear someone talking about a artist "selling out" or how their new album is nothing like their old one and is thus terrible. I mean maybe its just me because music is such an incredibly important part of who i am but seriously? are you fucking kidding me?
Selling out is nothing more then signing to a major label and while for pushovers this could be bad, most bands retain creative control over their music. Theres nothing wrong with this. Maybe you feel hurt because now your not the only one who likes your favorite band but hey i guess if you want to pay for the band members house, their kids, family,expenses, etc...
Even if you dont look at this from a stand point of thats what their doing for a living and its just like getting a raise; you can look at it from the message.
They are here to have their music be heard.
Your so punx rawk you want to change the world? Well are you going to do it by yourself?
i doubt it.
Well now im just rambeling but i guess my point is you listen to a band because you like them, you listen to their next album because you liked the last one. If you dont like it after you hear it ok then dont listen to it anymore, but dont just look at the name of the company on the inside and immediatly start tearing it down without ever giving it a chance.
i could go on but id rather not.

I get stuck in certain mindsets, certain ways. There always the opposite of the one i know is the better choice or idea.Theres the way i act and the way i want to act, very rarely do they sync up.
Maybe i should do something about it.
I say that, but i wont.
I probably wont even remember i wrote that when i wake up tommarow, it definitatly wont cross my mind when im on the metro and no i wont smile at anyone i pass on the street.
Im just going to laugh at the futility of it all.

Hey were supposed to be having epiphanies right now.
Stop laughing.
Epiphany having is serious business.

this means more to me then you could ever know. I hope you dont mind.
You'll get to hear it eventually and if you dont like just tell me and ill never sing it again.
If your into it keep it up, cause we could work wonders with this, kid.

I hate to admit it but im a hypocrite.
sadly bitching dosent seem to be doing anything about it.

Oh well.

i found this cool folk punk comp on last.fm, some gang chorus' and gravely voices over rambunctious acoustic guitar are enough to make anyone optomistic.

(i wasnt going to write this but Kristine put me up to it. Now please put your glove back on, you cant just go around slapping people willy nilly.)

Did you know?
I doubt you ever did, months later it comes to mind and i can still only hear my hollow words.
The memorys all to clear, a memory so unwanted it could never go away.
That silence.
I could of drowned in that silence.
In fact i was sure i had, my lungs barely expanding, choking under the weight of regret.
I could of fallen to my knees right there, on that dirty kitchen floor, but that wouldnt of solved anything. The point of no return had already been passed, miles ago, days ago.
Doomed from the start comes out so cliche, but this was the second start.
I expected it fully.
You found a few things to say, nicetys to put yourself at ease, then fell into the cadence.
My mind was reeling, i thought i wanted this, i thought, i thought....
I searched your face for an answer,but your fathomless blues eyes reflected back no uncertainty.
Did you know?
These promises of future rendezvous were in vain.
Lies as much as every other word you ever told me.
I knew.
If you walked out that door.
How could you not know? Not see?
Even after all this i never felt you owed something to me.
Im still just stuck with this image of the night before. I was ashamed to think id never held you so tight.
Did you know?
seems an unanswerable question.
Did you know you would never see me again.

i dont understand
i dont understand
i dont understand
i dont understand
i dont understand

why you do that to me
Was it bliss not seeing you everyday?
Your red hair getting burned into my memory.
i dont want this.
i never wanted this.
i just want you.

Its not that i cant talk to people, its just that i dont.
Its a waste of words.

Just to try myself though i went through with it and met you at the metro.
Never face to face. Never until the day before.
You didnt seem reserved at all when you got in,
maybe just a little once you got us lost in the ghetto.
Two hours of driving with no destination in mind.
Its not what i expected, nor do i expect it again
We'll probably remain the strangers that we were.

Oh, no matter how much fabreeze you spray, that still has a very distinctive smell.

There are times, sitting here in the dark with nothing but this glowing screen to reflect upon, that all sense of purpose is lost. Pressing ideas and thoughts that go unfinished, adventures never to be returned to. Who we are, Who we've always wanted to be. This new found sense of purpose likly to be lost as soon as the screen goes dark, a new found sense of direction to get lost in new ways. Could we change the world if we could never even change ourselves? How could we change ourselves if indecision never let us make up our minds. Its so easy to be negative. The mind set is right.
I dont know where this is goin but its looking like the place i began.
Never planned to be there again.

I dont have a flair for writing like this. Lyrics are nothing, so why cant i put down one paragraph that isnt meaningless bullshit and overused emotions. WHAT THE FUCK.

Im still searching for a former clarity.

The Dream is Over

God is a Concept
by whichwe measure our pain
I don't believe in magic
I don't believe in I-ching
I don't believe in Bible
I don't believe in Tarot
I don't believe in Hitler
I don't believe in Jesus
I don't believe in Kennedy
I don't believe in BuddhaI
I don't believe in Mantra
I don't believe in Gita
I don't believe in Yoga
I don't believe in Kings
I don't believe in Elvis
I don't believe in Zimmerman
I don't believe in Beatles
I just believe in me...and that reality

i wish i was more proactive at updating this blog, it would be easier then trying to think all at once. Last week after hanging out in Dc for hours after the inauguration drew eric and i went to the Anti-flag concert called Demand in DC. It was awesome as usual, antiflag always does a good job leaving you ready to fuel some change.right? i saw that rise against and rancid are going to be touring together this summer. That will quite possibly be the most amazing show ever. Going to shows always leaves be wanting to do something about my music. The solo acoustic stuff really isnt cutting it for me, but i cant find a drummer so the band will just have to stay on hold. i dont really have anything to say right now, actually feels nice to have nothing on my mind for once.