What Does it mean to come from something? Does it change your perspective? Could you still accomplish anything anyone else has ever managed to do under a different set of circumstances. I dont know if i could. All my heroes were disenfranchised youth. They grew up rough in broken families, they had a reason to be something more. They deserved to be. Where do you get that sense of purpose. Well not a sense of purpose but of direction. I dont think i could do what any them did. I'd like to think i could. Sell a pint of blood to make rent, spend the nite livin on the streets when you have to. They made themselves what they are now and im really wondering if starting out with nothing is what gives you the tools you need to achieve everything.
Could poverty ever seem so appealing?

i saw something earlier that for some reason i really enjoyed, most likely because i do it a little myself. Someone said that when ever their around strangers they wonder what their thinking, and imagine it; then when they walk away they secretly miss them.

I think thats what i like most actually.

I have so much to say and so much i cant seem to put into words.

Random Hearts that beat for each other

Theres lots of crazy ideas about life, love,etc?....everything. Wouldnt that be amazing to be able to understand everything, to put it to paper and have it make sense. I want you to give me all the hate you feel, binge and purge. That would make this easier, if we were in this together. Random hearts that beat for each other, random hearts in a cruel cruel world. My voice hurts from singing my disillusion; give me yours.

Life is Not a Waiting Room

I'm too guarded. It never bothered me in the past but it does now. Have you ever noticed that some habits you've always done unaware are incredibly hard to break? I need my opposite. I need someone to break this.

Failing, Flailing

For some reason the last two weeks ive been taking on a more and more self destructive nature. Theres a lot of things that should be said but not here, at least not now. I just kinda dont care anymore about the things that mean nothing to me but that i should care about(if that makes any sense at all).
Im naive.
but at least i know it,
i can live with what i am behind closed doors but i cant live with you thinking down of me.
Hopefully this isnt my one chance that really matters cause i get the feeling i just might fuck it up.

I sat in Panera for about two hours just reading from my literature book and writing responses for english today. Its odd that being home i get nothing accomplished yet i can go to a upscale deli with a atmosphere thats completely manufactured around getting people to come spend hours just sitting eating and spending money and i can do exactly what i set out to do. Im distracted too easily. Theres a certain clarity i can acheive at times, its hard to reach, harder to explain i suppose; everything just clicks. It can be such a high, like when the entire band syncs in and you know you have something. I miss that.
I miss clarity.